One cannot live in this world without being influenced by others. This is how we learn to adapt, to be able to function in our culture, and to relate to others.
Much of what we are today is the result of our formative years when we were taught by our parents, teachers, and other authority figures, whether what they taught us was conscious or unconscious on their part.
Regardless of which, our minds absorbed information and imitated others, while personal experience shaped our attitudes, beliefs, and ideas till we achieved habituated ways of thinking. We still unconsciously cling to these ingrained precepts without question, and believe them to be absolute. The formative years are, therefore, the most important.
Often, however, our ingrained intuitiveness is destroyed by a cookie-cutter school system which is often more focused on ensuring conformity than it is with the betterment or actual learning of the children given in their care. The emphasis by many, but certainly not all, is on discipline and rigidity, not on the actual teaching process.
Imagination, inventiveness, wonder, self-exploration, creativity, and others are not encouraged in such a system, because these things cannot be quantified or measured. Most schools focus on the mundane, denigrating what cannot be understood by the five senses and modern technology.
How we react to this process, either positively or negatively, perhaps because of our home life outside of school, also determines whether we will be open-minded and positive, or close-minded and negative.
It is important to guard yourself against such pessimism and rigid conformity, as well as the idea that all you are is what can be seen, heard, and felt, and that all you can accomplish is what can be made with your own hands.
This is not to suggest that those who teach such things are your enemies, or that their intentions are negative.
Most teach what they themselves have been taught, believing that such things are right, true, and good. In passing it on to you, they likewise believe that they are doing the correct thing.
You must be on your guard, therefore, and understand that what they teach is only a part of the whole story.
Those who say things like “it can’t be done,” “that’s impossible” or “there is no such thing as…” are absolutely correct, because they believe it to be so. As such, it becomes so for them.
This does not, however, have to be so for you or for others.
Those who say things like “it can be done, and I’ll prove it,” “it is possible, and I’ll do it” or “there is such a thing, and I’ll have it,” on the other hand, are also absolutely correct. Because they believe it to be so, it therefore is or will become.
Consider all that we take for granted today: cars, trains, airplanes, electricity, television, cell phones. There was a time when such things did not exist, and to suggest they were even possible went against the grain. At best, those who said that such things “could be” were ostracized, or considered insane. At worst, they were punished, hurt, or even killed. History is filled with many such examples of both cases.
With this in mind, pay attention to the people you associate with on a daily basis. Are they positive people who believe they can achieve things and succeed? Or are they negative people who believe the odds will always be stacked against them, and do not even try to succeed?
Are you surrounded by genuinely happy people whose presence is a joy? Or are you surrounded by sad, pessimistic, and bitter people whose presence is a burden?
Whatever the case, look into yourself and find out if your attitudes are a reflection of their own.
It is said that misery loves company. If so, and you associate with such miserable people, are you then a miserable person yourself? If this is indeed the case, do you enjoy being miserable?
If you do, then nothing here will benefit you, save to enforce your miserable life, inviting more of the same into it. You have already chosen your truth, are living it, and can comfort yourself in the fact that you may look forward to yet more misery.
If, however, you want to change, or if you want more out of life, then read on.
Starting with the premise that you are a negative person, then the first step is to stay away from others who are negative.
Sometimes, just changing who we associate with can be the start of something either good or bad, depending on the type of people we choose to hang out with.
Those who speak most of health, have it. Those who speak most of wealth, have it. Those who speak most of joy, have it. The opposite also holds true. So which would you rather have?
It is never too late to change. But it is all up to you. With patience, persistence, belief, and work, you can choose not only who you spend time with, but how your life is to be lived from now on.
Copyright Stephen Richards
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