Although we may externally struggle with different circumstances and situations, the emotional feelings associated with them are always the same - frustration, resentment, anger, depression, etc, etc. It’s like falling into quicksand, and the only way we know how to extricate ourselves is to struggle. What we find is that the more we struggle to get out, the deeper we sink.
In other words, we do it before we are consciously aware that we've done it. Since we do not like doing it, we get down on ourselves for having done it again. This only serves to feed and increase the intensity of that which we do not like - and so it becomes a stronger force within us, compelling us even more to do it again - and again. Then we get down on ourselves even more - feeding more energy into it so that it comes back even stronger the next time. The more we struggle to get out, the deeper we sink.